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Aggie Laughs

  • Did you hear about the Aggie who robbed a bank? He tied up the safe and blew up the guard
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who took his expectant wife to the grocery store because they had free delivery
  • Definition of a galloping gourmet: an Aggie running after a garbage truck
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who went to the jewelry store to buy a tornado watch?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who threw himself on the floor and missed?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who was so obnoxious that when he talks to his plants... they turn away?
  • Did you hear about the rich Aggie whose girlfriend told him she liked hard rock--so, he bought her a petrified forest
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who got hurt while elephant hunting in Africa? He got a hernia setting up decoys
  • Did you hear about the Aggie scientist who developed an artificial appendix?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who stayed up all night studying for his urine test?
  • Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at A&M. The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
  • Texas A&M discontinued its driver education program. The mule died
  • Two Aggies were preparing for a math exam. One asked the other, "How many degrees are there in a circle?" After considerable thought the second asked, "How big is that circle?"
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who thought High Cholesterol was a religious holiday?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who bought a ladder, and carefully put a sign on the top rung: "STOP HERE."
  • The Aggie was asked if he preferred red or white wine with dinner, "It doesn't make any difference," he said, "I'm color blind"
  • Asked what he thought about the Civil Rights bill, an Aggie replied, "Well, if we owe it, we ought to pay it"
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who thought an exorcist was a guy who came to your house to help you get in shape
  • Did you hear about the Aggie that invented seedless corn?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who bought $100,000 worth of tires because he wanted his house to have white walls?
  • Professor: "Where was Joan of Arc burned?" Aggie: "All over her body."
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who won a gold medal in the Olympics? He was so proud of it he had it bronzed. He won the medal in the javelin catching event.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who phoned a camera store and asked if he could rent some flashbulbs
  • An Aggie went hunting and shot two deer. When he went to a taxidermist he was asked if he wanted them mounted. "No," the Aggie replied, "kissing will be fine."
  • Did you hear about the latest Aggie invention: The solar powerd flashlight
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who tried to blow up a greyhound bus? He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe!
  • Did you hear about the Aggie that stopped at the stop sign? He's still there.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who looked up his family tree and an ape crapped on him.
  • Did you hear about the 1962 Olympic Aggie Hid-n-Seek Team. Their remains were found in a closet in College Station
  • Did you hear about the Aggie that thought a carnation was a land of automobiles
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who invented the fire extinguisher that works under water?
  • AGGIE BUMPER STICKER: Honk if I'm an Aggie
  • Did you hear about the Aggie that asked the operator how to dial the hyphen
  • Two Aggies where walking down the road talking. They saw a male dog licking itself. One Aggie said, "I wish that I could do that." the other Aggie said, "Don't you think he'll bite ya?"
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who moved to Oklahoma and raised the average I.Q. in BOTH states?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who learned to count to twenty one? He was arrested for indecent exposure
  • Some Aggies headed to Houston to go to Astroworld for the weekend. As they got closer to the park they saw a sign that read "Astroworld Left". So they went back home.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who wanted to be a pharmacist, but couldn't figure out a way to get the medicine bottles in the typewriter.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who was so lazy, He married a pregnant woman
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who went water skiing, but couldn't find a Lake with a hill on it
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who was such a poor reader that he belonged to the Page of the Month club?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who got locked out of his car? He spent 2 hours trying to get his wife and kids out.
  • An Aggie walked up to a group of scientist who were discussing algebra, calculus, geometry and trig. After listening politely for a while, he asked, "What do you fellows think about long division?
  • Did you hear about the new parachute developed at A&M? It opens on impact.
  • Did you hear about the Aggie football player who demanded a 50% discount from the chiropractor because he was a half-back?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository?
  • Did you hear about Texas A&M recalling all thermometers because traces of mercury were found in them?
  • Did you hear about the Aggie who thought a pole vault was a jock strap with a lock on it?
  • Two Aggies are driving in a car. The Aggie driving says to the other, "I don't think my blinker is working. Would you mind checking for me?" So the other Aggie jumps out of the car and calls to the Aggie driver, "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no"
  • Did you hear that they outlawed "the wave" at Kyle Field? Two poor Aggies drowned at a game last year.
  • An Aggie engineering student was so relieved to get a summer internship he didn't care that he would be painting highway stripes for the DOT. The first day, he painted 10 miles of stripes. he foreman was impressed.

    His second day on the job, the Aggie only painted two miles of stripes. Since he had done so well his first day, the foreman decided to excuse his lack-luster performance.

    The third day, the Aggie only painted one mile worth of stripes. The foreman thought this was inexcusable and asked the Aggie, "What's the deal? Your first day you did so well. The second day was not so good. Today, you did less work than I did."

    The frustrated Aggie replied, "I'm sorry boss, the bucket just keeps getting farther and farther away!"

  • An Aggie scientist is doing experiments on a frog, trying to find out the effects of cutting its legs off. The Aggie saws the first leg off and says, "Jump, frog, jump." The frog jumps five feet. The Aggie makes a note: With three legs, frog jumps five feet.

    The Aggie then saws off another leg and says, "Jump, frog jump!" The frog jumps one foot. The Aggie makes a note: With one leg, frog jumps one foot.

    Finally, the Aggie saws off the last foot and says, "Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump! ... Jump, frog jump!" The Aggie scientist makes a note: With no legs, frog goes completely deaf